Thursday, June 28, 2007

Critical Information

One of the many reasons for this exercize stems from my experience as a TV-addicted youth in the 80's. If you fall within this demo, you may remember this specific assault on western civilization.

The product was Downy fabric softener or detergent or something else laundry-related. The commercial starred a rascally 80's kid away at summer camp, on his bunk and writing home to mom and dad.

"Hello Mother/Hello Father/Greetings from Camp/Hiawatha," or something like that. This commercial has absolutely spoiled Ponichelli's Dance of the Hours. Forever. I'll never be able to enjoy it as a stand-alone piece of music because some fucking retard ad exec needed a jingle and his feeble sell-sell-sell brain couldn't formulate an original score. "We need a catchy image, like the Jolly Green Giant ass-raping Rodin's Thinker. Now that will sell green beans!"


OK, thought I would clarify a bit on the mission of this crappy fucking blog. First, I'm only calling out musicians that I think are good or respectable. So that Third Eye Blind song from 1996 being used for a theme park in New Jersey doesn't count. Neither does the Cadillac commerical using Immigrant Song. While I was a little dissappointed with the latter example, I didn't really care.

I do, however, care that Andrew Bird sold his soul for a chance to reach (gasp!) millions through the completely credible form of media we call the 15 second spot selling rooms for Marriot Hotel Chain in between legs of So You Think You Can (bom bom bomp) Dance. Can't hear 'em on the radio, but you can apparently hear them on a commercial for Marriot Hotel Chains.

Month: June — Year: 2007 — Band: Wilco — Crap: VW

Wilco. Sky Blue Sky. Bad review on Pitchfork. Me? I love the album. Fuck Pitchfork, they probably think Banksy is cool. And they also feel the need to dry hump Jay-Z's Black Album pantleg. Whatever. I'm thinking that they were right about one thing — this album is for grey-haired folks, and I think the assholes behind VW's new commercial recognized this.

Thanks Wilco, and thanks VW, for ruining an album that I was excited about.